The start of a New Year is the perfect time to practice ways to cherish yourself, and create a richer more real life. The most important relationship you can have is with yourself; you deserve compassion, joy and peace and YOU are the best person to make that a reality.
We’ve gathered up some truly effective steps that you can take to change the way you live, and create a life that nurtures you more.
1. Prioritise your goals
Find a quiet space and write a list of the things you most want to achieve this year, and in the next 5 years. Find at least 5 things to work on in each list, and write down the steps you need to take to make each one happen. Then go ahead and start.
If we don’t quantify how we intend to achieve our dreams, we end up spending our time doing other things.
2. Forgive yourself
We can spend years holding onto self-blame or guilt over all sorts of things. Give it up! Let yourself feel compassion for your choices, knowing that you won’t do the same thing again. If we suffer through reliving these experiences and guilt, we literally drench ourselves in chemicals that aren’t good for us. Acknowledge that you made the choice you did, forgive yourself, and move on wiser and lighter.
2. Ask people for what you need
When you clearly ask people who matter to you for the help or action that you need, you give them a powerful choice which they can use to enrich your relationship. Likewise, you can ask what they need, and do your best to support them. Opening lines of honest communication about your needs strengthens any relationship, between lovers, family, friends or workmates. If we leave people to guess what we may want, they might get it completely wrong, or not even be aware that we have needs they can meet.
3. Stop playing small
Maybe you feel you have settled – for a job, a relationship, nights watching TV. Now, right now, is the time to raise your expectations and make some changes! William James said “To change one’s life, start immediately, do it flamboyantly; no exceptions.”
Perhaps you stand back and let others make the decisions, take the credit, or get get all the attention. Stand on up for your fine self and take charge of your life. It’s a lot more fun.
4. Pay attention to your thoughts
Sometimes you will be surprised when you listen in! Often we quietly feed ourselves negative stories over and over again until they become an integral part of our self-image.
It’s actually incredibly effective to simply begin talking to ourselves kindly – as if we were speaking to a close friend – and change the record. Instead of focusing on criticizing yourself, practice some compassion and treat yourself gently. Focus on your good qualities and on opportunities to improve your personality. By practicing positive thoughts about ourselves repetitively, we literally create new pathways in our brains and re-wire our self image.
5. Take care of yourself
Get in some early nights and bank some sleep. Eat well and drink lots of water. Dance. Go outdoors. Breathe. You know what to do!
6. Invest your time wisely
Unplug from social media. Leave work at work. Do your grocery shopping online and get it delivered.
Instead, make a call or visit someone you love who you haven’t seen for a few months. Spend time with people who challenge you to be the best version of yourself. Engage in deep conversation and strengthen your friendships with the people you love. Hug your kids and join in their games.
7. Indulge your passions
Nurturing a passion is a sure fire way to add joy to your life. It might be gardening, discovering new restaurants, travel, or any one of a thousand quirky things people love to do. Whatever your passion, the key is to actually DO it. Put a weekly appointment in your calendar if you need to, but make damn sure that often, very often in your life you get to indulge your passion.
Book a holiday somewhere you have always wanted to travel to, or make a date for quality time with your partner. Sign up for Pilates classes or diving lessons or buy new paints and begin a new canvas. If you haven’t uncovered your passion yet, all the better – you get to try new things until you find something you really, really love to do!
Good luck – get out there and grab the opportunity!