You’re passionate about your gorgeous sustainable makeup cabinet. You know what is helpful and what is toxic to put on your skin. You’re aware of sustainable beauty packaging. You do your best not to flush harmful things down the bathroom sink. You love your new sustainable beauty regime… but your friends are new to sustainable beauty and whenever you bring it up they get defensive and shut the conversation down.

For their health, and the health of our planet, you want them to change their beauty habits too.

I applaud you for that! I know it’s not easy having conversations with people who haven’t heard of sustainable beauty before.

After years of experience fumbling through failures and successes, here are three tips to help you have productive conversations about sustainable beauty with newbies.

Focus on what they already do

Pointing fingers at someone’s faults will never get you anywhere, but pointing fingers at the great things they do will instantly turn a conversation into a goodie.

Find something the person already does really well, and target that. Even if they have never considered sustainable beauty before, I bet there is something they own or do that is better for the planet.

Your conversation could go like this… “I love how you use up all your products to the last drop before you dispose of them!” or “That’s so cool your foundation is cruelty-free.”

Once you’ve made the person feel good, you will have more room for directing your conversation towards sustainable beauty in general. I can also guarantee that simply talking about what they already do well will spark thoughts about what else they could work on.

Lead by example

Telling someone will sometimes make them consider doing it. But showing someone will greatly increase the chances of them actually doing it.

Highlight your own sustainable beauty habits and how these swaps have made your life better. As well as reducing the opportunity for your fellow conversationalist to feel judged and alienated, discussing how you navigate your beauty decisions will also give them practical ideas for what to change in their own life.

Your conversation could go like this… “I’m stoked with my new Ethique Lavender & Peppermint Body Wash! It smells incredible, and it’s way easier to have a bar in the shower rather than my old body wash bottle. It’s also free of harmful toxins, so I feel better about using it on my skin and washing it down the drain.” or “Have you heard of a stainless steel safety razor? It’s so much cheaper and easy to use.”

Pick your battles

I know this phrase is cheesy and overused, but I think that’s for a good reason. Choosing when to shut up and when to speak is one of the most important skills a person can practice (I say practice as I don’t think anyone ever fully nails it). When you become so passionate about a topic, e.g. sustainable beauty, it is natural to feel the urge to climb on to your rooftop with a loudspeaker to spread the information to the whole world. I know this because I’ve been the person with the loudspeaker before!

It may sound contradictory, but drop the loudspeaker and hone your interpersonal skills. Be quiet in times when you know your words are going to cause conflict rather than progression. Hold kindness in whatever you say, and know that your friend or family member will get there one day; everything takes time.

Productive conversations are always hard to navigate. Humans are complex, confusing, and hold many biases. Yet, these conversations need to happen; I honour and respect you for attempting to start one.

When you next have the opportunity to discuss sustainable beauty with someone new to the concept, start by focusing on what they do well and patting them on the back. Talk about what you do in your own life, and be conscious of knowing when to shut up.

P.S. Need more info or some easy links to share with friends and family? The Oh Natural blog is full of easy to read information and tips that won’t overwhelm.

Written by Kate Hall from Ethically Kate